LEO DEROCHER

woah.
haha and i thought i hadnt updated in a long time back in 06...
so heres my life...
love isnt what i thought it was. obviously. i thought i was in love with chad, and i clearly wasn't. hes a good guy somewhere deep inside, but we brought out the worst in each other.
then i thought i was in love with steve. maybe i was, or still am... but he doesnt want to love me anymore. hes too young and whatever. maybe im just a hopeless romantic, but i thought real love was forever.
i stopped working at fridays about a month ago, and im at gilly hicks and bugaboo creek now. its okay i guess, but i miss my fridays friends.
thats all i really have to say right now. other than that these days, i dont know that love exists at all.

Current Music: "tears dry on their own" -amy winehouse

SOOOOOO...
its been forever. yet again.
i just wanted to do a quick update to maybe get me back into the swing of this.
my gran passed away last week. it was basically the worst thing that's ever happened to me, except that i feel like it's bringing me closer to my family. i just feel like maybe there is a silver lining to the cloud. but either way, i miss her more than i ever thought that i could miss anyone. its heartbreaking being here without her, knowing i cant call her or give her a hug when i get home or anything like that.
chad and i are on and off... its rediculous. i hope we work someday, but i dont know if that day is now, and its more depressing than you could imagine. i want to be with him but i feel like its wrong. and i hate that feeling because the love is so right, but the relationship sometimes doesnt feel that way.
i'm still working on the story that i posted in here forever ago, i has written a lot but i dont like where the characters took me so i'm rewriting it. i feel like the way i want things to go in life has changed and my characters should refelct that. anyhoo...

Current Music: "remember the name" -fort minor

I;m trying to sort out my life and it's not looking the way I think it should. I'm confused and in love, and that just makes everything more confusing... I want to be able to explain the way I feel, but I can't...

wow... it's been a while...
Quick one...
I'm lying here in my boyfriends bed at college, where I am happy as you can imagine. I just ought to start attending PSY. Sabrina just left and we're going on a double date tomorrow night (hopefully the first of many, as Sabrina deserves to be happier than just about any other person I know). I just wrote an essay for my English class- and I got an A- on a paper I probably wouldve gotten an f on if it hadn't been for my professor having WAY too much respect for my opinion. Who would've thought that knowing about writing would get you so far if you just had the guts to say it out loud?

Um so... I like my new job a lot, other than the fact that we have to wear hideous shirts to work for a whole MONTH. Girls like me don't WEAR Hawaiian shirts and we should not be forced to do so. Even Sarah, the biggest lesbian I've ever met, doesn't wear them. So Fridays shouldn't make us. At least mine fits me better than my black polos do (i have to wash those tomorrow... damnit... and my apron...) Yeah, so... ew.

BRUCE ROCKS MY WORLD HARDCORE. We had a lot of fun making a ruckus in the BN Lounge tonight. Haha... sex in the minivan... hahaha...

OH YEAH I GRADUATED! GO ME! WOOHOO!

So... anyways... that was my quick public update. There are lots more things than that going on in my life, but you don't need to know about them. Although I'm a loudmouth, so you probably already know. If I didn't write it, don't comment about it.

Current Music: "Rio" Duran Duran

A HELEN RANT
Okay so what the fuck is with boys this week?!?!?!?
Johnmark apparently doesnt want to be with me anymore, because he doesnt want a serious relationship. The kicker is that the reason he shouldnt date me is because hes ready for marriage and im going to college... WTF!!! Seriously guys, three months of fooling around isnt a relationship.
Jason hates me because I said I wish Id never met him. This may (boys pay attention) to the fact that he shat on whatever it was that we mightve had. You can't ignore someone and then expect them to continue being happy. Life doesnt work that way. I am an angry bitter person, and once youre on my shit list you dont get off again. You can expect to stay on my shit list for a VEEERY long time if you treat me like ass.
ROB KEEPS TRYING TO KISS ME. YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. STOPTRYING TO CHEAT ON HER WITH ME. ITS BEEN TWO YEARS AND I STILL DONT WANT YOU.
Oh, yeah, Mike, thanks for calling.

WHAT IS WITH MY MOTHER? YOURE THE SELFISH BITCH YOU DUMBASS GET OVER YOURSELF. STO TAKING THE CAR KEYS TO WORK WITH YOU.

Ms Parker threatened to kick me out of Astronomy today. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! That was funny anger, but it was still anger.

so i got my ipod yesterday, and im SOOOO EXCITED HAHAHA! its piiiink and pweeeetty! but anyways, boys suck. all of them. and for no particular reason other than because i said so.

Current Music: "sky" -ra

um so yeah... i had an interesting weekend. went to the prom on friday, talked to jason for like 2 seconds, then he got pissed... who knows why? and went home and went to bed because i was EXHAUSTED!!!
sat, woke up at 230ish and went to the mall with alyssa for a while, saw aaron for the billionth time in the last few days- its odd not to see someone for six months and then to see them every day. went to jm's house saturday night for like 4 hours... it was a blast. we watched snow dogs and he made me hot dogs, even though hes allergic to them. he gave me a flower :-) talked to jason again for like 2 seconds, and he said hed call me later, but i bet you cant guess what he didnt do? thats right folks, he didnt call me back- he seems to be one of those people who's only gonna be my friend when hes drunk. anyways, jm and i are awesome and hes the greatest *ahem ahem* friend ever.
sunday got in a huge fight with my parents- theyre ass holes. basically... my parents wont fund things i need (such as clothes for work and school) but theyll buy alex a new $63.00 pair of sneakers every few months- fair? i think not. went to a party sunday night, had fun, although my play friends are a whole group which im only kind of a part of.
dont know yet what im doing today. i was hoping to see mike but i doubt thatll work out, im not seeing jason because he hates me, i could give jm a call, or i could laze around all afternoon... hm. options, options, options

May 27th or 28th- DRIVE IN TIME!!! The Drivein has officially been open for a month, so after schools out, I say we make a big trip of it- whos in?!?!?!

Okay, so heres how my week has been.
Monday- Went to Jason's house... had a good time...
Tuesday- went to the movies, went home and went to bed, was in an INSANE amount of pain- theres a hole in my foot and my whole toe was burning. I was literally up until 4 am crying because I was in so much pain.
Wednesday- got a call from my psychologist, thought it was kinda funny that she was worried because i hadnt made an appointment to see her in three months. told jason i hate him- i was lying. got an ipod and a laptop for graduation.
thursday- got in a huge fight with danielle, saw one of my really good friends get in a really bad car accident, about to go out for dinner with gigi, want to talk to jason (but he wont), going to take jj to get alex and starbucks... 10 DAYS LEFT OF SCHOOL!!

anyhoo, im off... ill update saturday maybe- after the prom tomorrow and nordstrom saturday who knows if ill have the energy?!?!?!

ok so here goes...
I got into a great college- I want to be there, it's warm, its got a great program, I'd be doing EXACTLY WHAT I WANT. Only issue- my parents won't send in my deposit check until the college gives me a scholarship- which is bullshit cuz the school isnt expensive anyways. I'm gonna be behind in my housing info, and everything else for that matter, and I'm PISSED cuz I want to FUCKING KNOW WHO MY ROOMMATES ARE AND STUFF LIKE THAT BUT MY ASS HOLE DAD WONT SEND IN THE CHECK. My mom thinks they won't give me a scholarship if I pay the deposit- I'm sure, MOM, that when you pay your deposit they freakin IGNORE EVERYTHING ELSE AND AER LIKE WELL SHE HAS 250 I BET SHE HAS 24000 TOO!!! GAAH YOU IDIOTS! I'm gonne not get a spot in my school now!

PS I really like Schnookums.

So last night I did a million things... I went otu to the shop for my mommy and got her somethings she needed, I went grocery shopping for my Gran cuz she was out of milk and orange juice, I went to Janeen's grad party, I went out for ice cream at BJs, then I went over my guy's house... overall it was a really good night.
So... I'm copying Erin...

MAY
13th- Senior Seminar Day + Junior Prom
17th- My first day as a waitress... watch out patrons of TGI Fridays... here I come!
18th- Senior Boat Cruise
20th (I think)- Yearbook Day (for those of you who didnt know me on yearbook day last year... its my favorite day of the entire school year!)
23rd- Senior Cut day for the three girls I know who cant afford to cut block 6 again.... oops...
26th- LAST DAY OF CLASSES!!!!!
27th- Senior Prom

JUNE
2nd- Graduation and Jamaica Jammin!!

So... it's almost over... and to be honest, I think I'm gonna miss it here. It's faster up here (except if youre driving), and I like the pace. The snow has become overbearing though, so I'm thinking it'll be a while before I really want to come back for the entire thing of winter. Enough is enough, New England... I'm going to Florida.

So I got back from Florida last night, and I went to work today only to find out I had been terminated. So I lost my job. All because of stupid people who decide not to show up when they say theyll take a last minute shift. Thanks, guys, thanks. But I have an interview at Fridays tomorrow, and I think I'd rather work there anyways, seeing as I want to open my own restaurant and all. I'm gonna go out now and rampage a lounge with my amazing shopping with my last minute employee discount abilities.
ANYHOO I'm gonna go out now and try to take my mind off of things with mindnumbing shopping... in a really hot new shirt.

Current Mood: pissed off
Current Music: "she works hard for the money"

WHO KNOWS A CUTE GUY I CAN DATE AND THEN BRING TO THE PROM?!?! applications are being taken

mike is a sucky ass person. baah. but i like him a lot. and i need to stop.

i have to go to the doctor tomorrow. I HATE doctors. like, you have no idea. they SUCK. ive spent so much time at doctors offices that i kind of want to deal and not go tomorrow but i knwo ill be in loads of pain.
in boy news, mikes not coming to the prom with me, i think bruce might come (weird guy, but more fun than just abotu any other boy i can think of... plus things arent weird between us) instead, which would actually be really nice. a no pressure fun prom date. hm. what could be greater? mike in bed...

UM SO YEAH APPARENTLY PEOPLE ARE STALKERS.
I saw Mike today... I went to dinner and he was my waiter. He has a hott and sexxy ass. I hope he doesnt find my lj cuz apparently everyone else has (including ben... you creepo) because i would be really upset if he like, laughed at how hot i think he is. But he is. So its okay. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SLEEP AT SOMEONES HOUSE AND NOT KISS THEM?!?! HOLY SHIT! OKAY SO I DONT KNOW WHATS GOING ON BETWEEN US BUT ILM STILL FREAKING OUT SO I HAVE TO SEE HIM OUTSIDE OF WORK SO THAT I CAN JUST GET THIS WHOLE WHY HAVENT WE KISSED YET BUSINESS OUT OF THE WAY.
And I have to write the other four pages of my history paper... whoops...
AND IM GOING TANNING WITH THE FROSHY TOMORROW. Then I'm going to work... then I'm probably writing my English paper, then doing all of my Astronomy homework for next week- always nice not having to do statistics work.
BOYS ARE STALKERS.

AAAH OKAY SO my vacation was awesome. I went to a couple parties, went to a club, had a BBQ... it was a good time. I got into another college in florida so my mom and i are flyign down there on friday so i can make up my mind about where i want to go... i think probably Northwood. but im not positive.
And theres the guy- those of you who have spoken to me since friday undoubtedly have heard it already because im freaking out/obsessing. oh yeah then theres my six page research paper of whihc i had a rough draft due last week and i didnt turn it in and now my final draft is due next week and ive still only done two pages... whoops... im a DUMBASS.
then i dropped statistics because my teacher told me she didnt respect me... awesome teacher (aka she sucks huge testicles).
and i dont think im allowed to have a graduation party, but if i can i want to have a roast where people arent allowed to take it too far. i dont want to cry but i want everyone to make fun of me- especially alyssa (who is the worlds BEST FRESHMAN!).
yup so other than my little teensy weensy boy issue, life is superb. what can i say... she gets what she wants.

Current Music: "18 til I die"

temporary edit...
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IM GOING TO COLLEGE IN FLOOOOOORIDAAAAA!!! WOOHOO GO ME! And omg my parents are leaving me at home for a week... I WANT TO HAVE MIKE SPEND THE NIGHT BUT IF JOHNMARK FOUND OUT... ooooh awkward... God do I want Mike though. Yummy...

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